Children with lack of confidence: is it born with them or is it developed?
Lack of confidence day, often, our behavior, the perception we have of ourselves and the way we look at life.
It is what prevents us from doing something because we are afraid or because we doubt our abilities.
Surely you've heard a voice in the back of your mind asking, “What if I can't?”, “What if I can't?” or “what if I don't achieve this?”. These are some of the moments when lack of confidence takes hold of us and prevents us from taking risks, remaining at the mercy of doubt. 😔
But what can we do to regain confidence and self-esteem?
We prepare 6 tipsso you can implement them in your day to day and share them with the youngest!
6 Tips on how to regain self-esteem and self-confidence
Self-esteem and self-confidence have a great influence on us. So it is normal that at certain stages, they can be more shaken for different reasons - and with children and adolescents it is no exception.
However, there are some practices to promote and strengthen self-esteem, confidence and optimism:
- Be more understanding with yourself
It is important to realize that eventually we will fail. The mistake happens, it is something of the human being and it is through these same mistakes that we learn to be better!
👉 As such, it is important to convey this same message to children from an early age: the mistake happens and we should not blame, criticize or belittle ourselves for it.
- Recognize our qualities
It is very easy to fall into the mistake of seeing only our flaws and letting those thoughts consume us.
However, we must fight this trend and recognise what we are good at.
For example: “I am a good listener”, “I am a good friend”, “I am extremely responsible”, “I am a person who cares about the well-being of the other”, “I am a dedicated and hard-working person”.
👉 For children, this recognition is essential so that they do not only delve into the negative side of their versions. We all have a less good side that we try to hide or disguise, but we must embrace ourselves as we are and try to be better every day!
- Practice self-care
Good self-esteem and self-confidence are not born out of nowhere. The way we treat ourselves and how we manage part of our routine to dedicate ourselves to things that we really like makes all the difference.
Healthy habits such as a good diet, the practice of physical exercise and Hobbiesthat make us feel fulfilled contribute to the feeling of “inner peace” and to a good self-esteem and confidence.
👉 For parents it is important to implement these same habits in children from an early age. Allow them to have time for themselves, to play and to do things that they like and that make them feel happy.
- Celebrate small achievements and positive reinforcement!
Celebrate even the smallest victories. All our efforts must always be recognized (and rewarded).
👉 Positive reinforcement is extremely important, especially for the youngest, so that they feel valued. An active accompaniment of parents contributes positively to their confidence, self-esteem and, in addition, motivates them to continue to give their best on a daily basis.
- Have realistic goals and objectives
Creating achievable goals helps keep us motivated and increases our confidence. In other words: if we set unrealistic goals we will remain in a state of frustration because we cannot achieve anything. So creating a list of small, viable goals will keep us motivated and positive (and accomplished in achieving them).
👉 For children, having these small achievable goals helps them develop greater confidence and believe in their potential.
- Effort and dedication are essential
It is important to understand that our confidence is a reflection of the effort and dedication we put into achieving certain goals. In other words: the more we set ourselves to something and achieve a certain goal due to our dedication, our confidence increases to the same extent!
But after all, what is lack of trust?
If trust is the ability to trust the other, to believe in ourselves and in our abilities to achieve something... the lack of trust is precisely the opposite, resulting in the fear of failure, of taking risks, of sharing a point of view, etc.
It is something that can haunt us by making us question all the small decisions and that creates frustration, fear, anxietyand low self-esteem. So the result is that many times, we end up feeling that we are totally stagnant or, in the worst case, that we are doomed to failure.
When we talk about lack of confidence and the ability to trust someone, the explanation is very simple ➡️: by not trusting ourselves, the tendency is that we also cannot trust other people.
This happens because we project our insecurities and, therefore, end up questioning the other person's motivations and intentions and hesitating to share feelings and opinions with fear of judgment and rejection. 💔
👧👦 Not that it's your turn children and adolescents, the lack of trust also happens and it is something that affects their growth and development conditioning, once again, the relationships they establish, their attitude towards school and the way they face the challenges of day to day. This lack of self-esteem, according to studies, can cause depressive symptoms that can last into adulthood.
What causes lack of confidence in children and adolescents?
Certainly, lack of trust is not born with us.There are multiple factors that can contribute to a lack of confidence and self-esteem.
The heart of this problem starts from the moment we take the first steps, when we begin to learn how the world works, when we understand what is right and wrong, when we face the first challenges of life... if this description led you to think about childhood, you are right!
👉 On childhoodthe role of parents has an enormous weight in the child who is being “built”. From values, to the formulations of thoughts and opinions, to the reaction to certain events and of course, in the perception you gain about yourself.
Studies confirm that parents directly influence self-esteemof the child through the choices they make for their education but also by the behaviors and attitudes they adopt towards it.
So:
- Emotional support
- Positive reinforcement
- And active involvement in the child's life (such as monitoring at school, extracurricular activities and sports)
They are factors that contribute to a good self-esteem and consequently, to a reinforcement of your confidence.
On the other hand,neglect, destructive criticism and overprotection may have the opposite effect.
In the face of these latter conditions, children and adolescents tend to breed insecurities and fears and are more easily exposed todevelopment of anxiety disorders, depression, self-destructive behaviors, among others.
What is the difference between self-esteem and self-confidence?
Despite their similarities, self-esteem and self-confidence are different concepts.
- Self-esteem→ is related to the image, appreciation, respect and acceptance we have of our person.
- Self-confidence→ is related to the belief (or descent) we have in our abilities and our potential.
Addressing the two concepts separately is a difficult task because they are so interconnected.Think of it this way: a person with good self-esteem, who recognizes his worth, who takes care of himself and who is at peace with the person he is... will more easily believe in his potential and his abilities to achieve what he sets out to achieve! 💪
As we have seen, parents have an important role in building a positive and confident journey for a child. A healthy parental relationship in which there is: active monitoring, open communication, emotional support, positive reinforcement and the imposition of healthy limits, contributes to the child building a good foundation of trust, self-esteem and a positive perception of himself. 🧡
Final Considerations
✅ Lack of confidence dictates our behavior, the perception we have of ourselves and the way we look at life.
✅ Lack of trust means the inability to believe in ourselves, in our abilities and also to place trust in others.
✅ Lack of confidence is also present in children and adolescents
✅ According to studies, lack of self-esteem can cause depressive symptoms that can last until the adult phase of life.
✅ Lack of confidence is not born with us, there are factors that contribute to its development.
✅ Parents and their choices in the education of children play a decisive role in the development (or lack) of confidence.
✅ Self-esteem is associated with the image, appreciation, respect and acceptance we have of our person. Self-confidence is associated with the belief (or descent) we have in our abilities and our potential.
✅ There are some practices to promote and strengthen self-esteem, confidence and optimism.
References
Elshanum, D. C. (2024). The Role of Parents in Enhancing the Self-Esteem of School-Age Children: Exploring Parenting Styles, Involvement, and Socioeconomic Factors. Acta Psychologia, 3 (3), 11—121. https://doi.org/10.35335/psychologia.v3i3.65
Masselink, M., Van Roekel, E., & Oldehinkel, A. J. (2018). Self-esteem in Early Adolescence as a Predictor of Depressive Symptoms in Late Adolescence and Early Adulthood: The Mediating Role of Motivational and Social Factors. Journal of youth and adolescence, 47 (5), 932—946. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-017-0727-z
Nunes, P., F., Queija, C., C., S., Dias, P., P., M., Oliveira, M., A., S., L., Ribeiro, L., A., C., Rocha, J., S., Amorim, M., V., C., Silva, D., F., F. (2023). Child neglect and its impact on psychosocial development. Revistaft, 27 (127). doi:10.5281/zenodo.10045680
Related Content
We Train Brains, Strengthen Minds, Transform Lives
Schedule an appointment and see how we can help your family.
No time for a call now? Leave your details and we will get in touch:
Wonderful team, concerned, attentive and always available to help in everything.
With the passage of time, the results are being verified.
I am grateful to have met Neuroimprove and all its professionals.