Seeing someone we care about in a state of depression is difficult, we want to help but we don't always know what to do or what to say. We want to show that we are available and support the person so that they can get out of that moment of darkness, but we don't know where to start.
📊 The cases of depression are quite numerous and, according to data from Sociedade Portuguesa de Psiquiatria e Saúde Mental:
These data reinforce the importance of speaking more openly about the topic, without judgment and with a focus on information and support.
In this way, we seek to clarify what depression is; what are the associated symptoms; how to help someone who is depressed and what are the best forms of intervention.
👉 The American Psychological Association (APA) defines depression as a negative affective state ranging from feelings of unhappiness and discontent to more intense feelings such as deep sadness, pessimism, and hopelessness interfering with daily life. In addition, it is often accompanied by physical, cognitive, and social changes.
Thus, it is important to recognize that this is a condition that affects not only a person's emotional state, but also their behaviors and thoughts, having repercussions on personal, social and professional life.
Depression can manifest itself silently and its symptoms can often may be confused with tiredness, demotivation, or fleeting sadness making an early diagnosis difficult.
Understanding how depression manifests itself is fundamental to recognizing when someone, including ourselves, may need help.
Here are some of the symptoms:
🔹 Feeling sadness and emptiness;
🔹Anxiety for no apparent reason;
🔹 Unjustified feelings of guilt and shame;
🔹 Absence of interest in pleasant or pleasurable activities;
🔹 Appearance of altered eating patterns (absence or excess of appetite);
🔹 Alteration in sleep patterns (insomnia or excessive sleep);
🔹 Lack of energy;
🔹 Irritability;
🔹 Digestive problems;
🔹 Loss of concentration and memory;
🔹 In extreme cases, thoughts or attempts at suicide.
The truth is that depression can create cycles that are difficult to break. These symptoms are nourished daily, making the person feel, over time, more and more tied to a feeling of pain and a belief that it is not possible to get out of this situation - help is needed to counter this trend.
According to a study on help-seeking behavior in depression, people seek help when symptoms persist for long periods of time.
In this sense, it is important to understand that depression is not something that can be solved just by willpower or personal effort, professional support is fundamental to face this condition.
In addition, recognizing how disabling depression can be is as important as understanding how we can be present to someone who is experiencing this reality.
When someone is going through depression, it is normal for us to feel paralyzed, unsure of how to act and afraid of making mistakes. However, know that taking the initiative to help is, in itself, a big step.
These are some strategies to guide you through this process:
One of the ways to show support is to listen actively. A person with depression usually feels misunderstood and tends to isolate themselves, which is why it is essential to create a safe space for them to express their feelings.
❌ Avoid phrases such as: “you have to be stronger” or “this will pass quickly”. Approaches like these can make the person feel that their problem is being devalued or that it has no relevance.
✅ Replace with: “I am here for you and together we will overcome this”.
Being close to the person, even in silence, is often enough, as is showing availability for a small conversation or a walk - this helps to avoid isolation.
❌ Don't create pressure: if the person shows a lot of discomfort to do something, respect their space. Your mere presence may suffice.
✅ When it's not possible to be present, sending a simple message like “I'm here for you” or “I saw this and remembered you” are ways to maintain contact without creating pressure.
Professional support, in these situations, should not be ignored because, support from family or friends may not be enough. Try to start a conversation carefully without pressure or demand.
❌ Avoid saying: “You should have gone to a psychologist by now” or “If you don't seek help, it will be worse”.
✅ Replace with: “Sometimes a psychologist can help us find ways to manage our feelings and deal with situations similar to the one you're going through. I'll help you find a good professional.”
In cases of depression, maintain a routine it's extremely difficult. Encourage small activities such as a walk outside or visiting a friend, for example.
❌ Avoid forcing or pressuring the person with depression to leave home at all costs. It's important that you respect their space and not let yourself be affected if they reject your invitation. Be understanding and you may suggest again at another time.
✅ Start with something simple like “Shall we go for a walk? Just to get out of the house for a bit!” - small actions like this can make a difference.
Maintaining a basic self-care routine such as bathing or dressing to go out, can also be a challenge, however, it is important to encourage these activities because they help improve emotional well-being.
✅ You can also suggest activities that used to bring joy to a person, even if they initially seem unmotivated - remember to do it ever with respect and delicacy, without causing any kind of pressure.
Helping someone who is going through a fragile emotional time is challenging. If you feel the need, you should seek support or advice to deal with the impact that this situation is having on you and your life. Taking care of yourself is essential to take care of others with balance.
How to help someone with depression who doesn't want help?
It's not always easy to support someone with depression - sometimes it can feel like the person doesn't want to be helped or that they reject any kind of approach. However, it's important that you don't give up. This resistance is part of the diagnosis, as it affects how the person sees life, others and themselves, and many believe that they do not deserve or that they cannot be helped.
Thus, you must maintain patience, resilience, and create space for trust to be built.
Helping someone with depression requires empathy, care, understanding, and constant presence. Remember, by showing availability, you are creating a safe space for the person to talk about their problems and express exactly what they feel without fear of being judged. Validate their feelings, even if you don't fully understand them, a simple “I'm here” can have more impact than advice.
It's gestures like these that convey the support, love and concern that the person needs and that confirm that they are not alone.
When it comes to depression, professional support is one of the most important steps for regaining balance and well-being.
👉 According to data from North American international guidelines, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is the first line of treatment for depression. It is an approach of psychology focused on thought and behavior patterns as well as the relationship between the two, and is widely recognized for its effectiveness.
👉 In more severe cases of depression, it may be necessary to use medication. These medications are recognized by clinical guidelines for their effectiveness in relieving depressive symptoms.
👉 We also know that depression is not limited to the emotional realm. It is also a neuropsychological disorder, with a direct impact on brain function.
For this reason, at NeuroImprove Clinic, in addition to Psychological intervention, we also perform a complete evaluation using a quantitative electroencephalogram (qEEG) to evaluate brain functions and identify which brain regions are out of balance. When these imbalances are detected, we use Neurofeedback, a brain training technique that regulates your brain, promoting greater balance.
👉 In addition, for depression, the lifestyle changes may help with recovery, namely physical exercise - which promotes mental well-being and overall well-being.
Each person is unique, and so is each brain, that's why all our interventions are personalized and adapted to the needs of each case. 💡
APA Dictionary of Psychology. “Depression” (2018). https://dictionary.apa.org/depression
APA Clinical Practice Guideline for the Treatment of Depression Across Three Age Cohorts (2019). https://www.apa.org/depression-guideline
Boerema, A.M., Kleiboer, A., Beekman, A.T.F. et al. Determinants of help-seeking behavior in depression: a cross-sectional study. BMC Psychiatry 16, 78 (2016). doi: https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-016-0790-0
Lam RW, Kennedy SH, Adams C, et al. Canadian Network for Mood and Anxiety Treatments (CANMAT) 2023 Update on Clinical Guidelines for Management of Major Depressive Disorder in Adults: Réseau Canadien pour les traitements de l'humeur et de l'anxiété (CANMAT) 2023: Update on Clinical Guidelines for Management of Major Depressive Disorder in Adults: Réseau Canadien pour les traitements de l'humeur et de l'Anxiété (CANMAT) 2023: Mise à jour des lignes guidelines pour la prise en charge du troubled depressif majeur chez les adultes. The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry. 2024; 69 (9) :641-687. doi:10.1177/07067437241245384
Villarroel, M.A., Terlizzi, E.P. (2020). Symptoms of Depression Among Adults: United States, 2019. NCHS Data Brief, 379, 1-8. PMID: 33054920.
National Health System. (2025) Depression. https://www.sns24.gov.pt/pt/tema/saude-mental/depressao/
Portuguese Society of Psychiatry and Mental Health. Mental Disorder in Numbers. https://www.sppsm.org/informemente/perturbacao-mental-em-numeros/
